What to do when thier "Normal Kid Behavior" is ACTUALLY a Sign of Deeper Trouble???

The Top 3 Signs to look for, that Other Parents MISS

Now that the kids are back in school, you may be feeling relief that they’ve got a schedule, a routine again, and time out of the house!

BUT

What your kiddo goes through in a school day – physically and mentally – is a LOT different from Summer Mode

And

What they experience NOW sets up the framework for how they will experience the rest of their lives. (More on that below.)

Here are The Top 3 Signs to look for in YOUR child,

What they could mean physically, AND

What ELSE might be going on that your kid is NOT telling you

The Top 3 Signs to Look for – that Other Parents MISS

#1 – Slouching

Your kiddo looks like they’re constantly curled forward. If you look at them from the side, their neck, upper back, and lower back would all make one continuous “C” shaped curve. Whether they’re sitting or standing, their ears never quite come backwards enough to be right above their shoulders.

Physical Meaning, and Long Term Problems –

Kids spend the majority of their time hunched forward – over school books and homework, their desks at school, and their cell phones. If they don’t harmonize all that time spent in that forward position by spending some time in a FULLY upright posture – that curled up position will become their body’s newly-programmed default.

Slouching makes all the muscles of the back and neck work MUCH harder than they should have to at rest AND puts excess strain on the joints of the spine. Long-Term, this extra work and extra strain leads to nearly constant upper back pain, neck pain, and back-of-the-head headaches later in life – something YOU might be experiencing as an adult!

What your kid may NOT be telling you –

They may be going through a period of Low Confidence, especially Body Confidence.

Where the mind goes, the body follows – They may feel like they want to shrink from notice, and that desire is showing up by physically curling in on themselves to take up less space, even though they likely don’t even realize that’s happening.

You may see this happening when they have been picked on – or fear they might be – for their physical appearance: Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too clumsy, girls being too busty, boys not being muscular enough, and a million other things other kids and society at large tell them, directly or indirectly.

They start internalizing the idea that “Standing out is dangerous.” So they try not to stand out. Which translates into not standing up. And then into shrinking away. “Can’t stand out if no one even sees me.”

Long-Term, this can morph into an unhealthy habit of not feeling Worthy of Standing Up for themselves, and not feeling Worthy of claiming their Right to Take Up Space – on the bus, at the gym, and even in their careers.

#2 – Standing Crooked

I distinctly remember my mom thwacking me upside the head with a comb (gently enough anyway) every time she trimmed my hair – Thwack! “Hold your head straight!” And every time, I would swear I was! And every time – Thwack! “No you’re not! It’s crooked! Knock it off!” And my 1” trim would end up being 4” by the time we were done.

Your kid will LOOK like she’s standing crooked if she has her weight shifted onto one leg.

BUT if she’s standing with her weight fairly even on both feet, you might notice her waistband tilts up on one side – and the hem of her skirts might always be off kilter, or one pants leg always seems longer. You might notice one shoulder seems higher (which may or may not be her dominant-hand side) – and straps are always slipping off the other shoulder. And you may even notice it looks like she’s tilting her head even if she thinks she’s not – and one earring always rests closer to her neck or her hairdresser always seems to trim off more than she asked for.

Physical Meaning, and Long Term Problems –

She may be carrying her backpack on one shoulder instead of both at the same time. She may always be carrying her band instrument in one hand and rarely switching to the other hand. Or she may have a one-sided habit like I did – always sitting crooked in the car so she can play with the radio non-stop, or always sitting leaning on the same arm of the couch during TV time every night.

Our bones are still malleable in childhood – they can actually change shape somewhat up until our 20s! Long-Term, constantly being in a crooked position like this can morph the spine into a permanent scoliosis (This was me!) – which can lead to back soreness throughout life that never stays away for long. A constantly crooked posture can also cause painful inflammation of the rib cage (also me – and what brought me to seek a chiropractor for the first time). And their clothes may always look sloppy (unless they invest in a good tailor or their own sewing skills to fix the host of fitting issues) – which could cost them a job or a promotion when pitted against someone equally qualified who looks a bit more put together.

What your kid may NOT be telling you –

The body follows the mind – standing crooked could be an outward indicator that he or she feels pulled in multiple directions. She may feel like she needs to move in one direction, but her heart is pulling her toward something else. Maybe he feels like she needs to make you proud in sports, when his heart is really begging him to try theatre instead. Maybe she feels like she would really enjoy trade school, but society keeps telling her she should go to a four-year university instead.

#3 – Difficulty Staying Awake

Nodding off at school, doing homework, or watching TV. A fight to get them out of bed on the weekends. A huge chunk of your grocery budget going to Mountain Dew or Monster energy drinks. And sometimes even crankiness and belligerence  (whatever the Sleep version of “hangry” is)

Physical Meaning, and Long Term Problems –

Kids need a LOT more sleep than most adults realize – up to 11 hours a day for some school-age kids!

Sleep is where our brains and bodies do the vast majority of their growing, and kids have a vast amount of physical and mental growing that needs done! Kids that are highly active, in a growth spurt, or hitting their studies hard will need even more sleep than they could get away with otherwise.

BUT many of our kids have too much going on to get all that sleep. Time at school, doing homework, after-school activities, chores, hobbies, play, socializing with friends (important for mental growth and developing appropriate social cues for later in life), and sometimes jobs too – kids have a lot of commitments, and often aren’t making enough time for as much solid sleep or naps as they need.

Continued lack of adequate sleep can lead to suborn weight gain from sugar-loaded energy drinks & coffees. It can lead to increasing irritability. (Ever find yourself in a crabby mood for seemingly no reason? And then you get even crankier when someone asks you why you’re so cranky?) Not getting enough sleep can also lead to difficulty coping with even small stresses – which can become an unhealthy habit of freaking out or shutting down when challenges arise throughout their lives. And it can lead to decision fatigue – when they make poor decisions OR are unable to make any decision at all. (This is when you will get met with a string of “I don’t know”s and “I don’t care”s. I know I’ve sure had some fights with my husband at the end of the day because we were both too mentally exhausted to decide what we wanted for dinner.)

When their brains are running on fumes, they are unable to put any power into thinking.

What your kid may NOT be telling you –

Sleep can be a mental coping mechanism – a way to avoid something stressful that they do not want to deal with. This can be a conscious choice (they make the decision to go to sleep to dodge the issue), or a subconscious reaction (they may not even realize there is an issue they are avoiding by falling asleep).

Your kiddo may be experiencing high stress levels or even anxiety around a particular situation or setting, and may be finding sleep to be an easy – or the only – way to escape experiencing or discussing it.

If your child is showing one of these symptoms, bring them in to see me so we can discover what THEIR mental and physical Why’s are, and what steps they can take to become their very best – for now and for the future. Call me direct to set that appointment: (636) 751-3150

One last tip – They may not tell you what’s going on with them, even if you ask them directly. (Especially teens. “TALK to Mom and Dad? Ugh. No.”) I’ll leave you with a strategy my Dad used when I was a teen –

Listen to what they say when they think you’re not listening.

Dad would offer our house as the after-school hangout for me & my friends. And he would feed us. We LOVED food! (Still do!) So we would stay in the kitchen, chatting away to each other, while he kept to the background fixing one snack after another – quesadillas, grilled cheese, Bagel Bites, Pizza Rolls, cookies – anything and everything! He would silently listen to us yammer away about classes, boys, mean kids, home life, our hopes and dreams… and with each plate he set before us, he would also bring us a little nugget of wisdom, in the form of a suggestion, a “I’m not gonna tell you girls what to do, but have you thought of it this way?” And then retreat back to the stove or microwave to fix more food as we ate our snacks and digested his words. It was a great way for him to stay clued in to our lives, while letting us feel the freedom to be ourselves – and gently guide us into great adults, too.

Can I help guide your kids into the great adults they can become, as well? Call me so we can discover what they really need: (636) 751-3150

~Dr. Vicky